Saturday, May 3, 2008

A New Poem

I wrote this poem a few weeks ago and would love some feedback. Today I like it, tomorrow I might be more critical.

Capricorn Resolution (A Sequel of Sorts)

PART I.

“Maggie, a girl of the streets,
I don’t think so Mr. Crane,”
Famine McCoy said.
“You see, Baudelaire’s lines constructed from
Syphilitic madness and heartbreak
No longer mean a thing to me.
Death to all my pasts!
Maggie is the future.”

Famine continues w/declarations…

To the poet’s darkness
I offer light
&
Orgasms!
I revel in warm
&
Slender crevices!

When presented w/a key one has to unlock
What was once locked
And when the unlocked opens
Look inside
Stare deep
Reach a hand in
Up to the elbow perhaps
Fumble w/clumsy groping
Deny what was once closed
And feel it hot

Maggie gave me a key
I didn’t know, until recently, the openings
I didn’t know how far one could go
The mystery I used to chase
Reversed
& came at me
I welcomed the wrestling ingredients

I now have recipes



PART II.

Shakespeare longed for the loins of Anne
He did not loathe his wife
They say today
I want to make it clear right now
I live for her
She is my 9 – 10 – 11
How can one quantify perfection?

Melodies, humble hummed
To the ring of dull steel strings
Find Song After Song
Give it a rotation, volume topped
Hear me sing,

Be Here When I Wake Up

I got a shoulder angel mama jumping on my bed
She is hungry like a word waiting to be said
She’s a restless songbird singing into my ear
Animated sketch book queen – I have to have her near

Be here when I wake up
All I can say
She is the one for me
And the only reason I make it through the day

Laying next to me, her soft figure glowing
Her skin is smooth, her breath is sweet – she starts poetry-a-flowing
She’s a simple melody echoing in my room
I have to listen carefully ‘cause it’ll be daytime soon

Be here when I wake up
All I can say
She is the one for me
And the only reason I make it through the day

I got a shoulder angel mama jumping on my bed
She is hungry like a word waiting to be said
She’s a restless songbird singing into my ear
Animated sketch book queen – I have to have her near

Be here when I wake up
All I can say
She is the one for me
And the only reason I make it through the day


What will it take to unburden myself?
What is the resolution?
I must…

Burn my paintings
&
Erase my poems
&
Smash my guitars
&
Discover myself on the mountain top
Screaming Maggie’s name
Until my vocal chords turn to pulp
Spitting blood
Swallowing flesh
Pulsing ejaculate
Writhing in multiple ecstasies
On this earth, but not of this earth
Giving not a shit for oxygen
Because she is my air
Feeling intimate tingles, numb below the knees
Eyes shut heavy breathing
Essences
&
Juices
&
Gaining knowledge of mixed wines
This is our lifetime – this is our now
We must press on w/o the past

2 comments:

Chris S said...

The poem is good. It has a raw sensibility, especially when you speak of the desires of Famine McCoy (or is it you?). I like the use of the song; is that something you wrote before the poem, or did it originate within the creation of the poem itself? There's a lot of disjointed narrative and exposition, and that is something that can be very effective, if done well. I think you pulled it off, so good job there. Also, in the jumps between dialog and exposition, a form of intensity is lent to the poem, so again, the interplay between narrative and exposition is effective there. Other than all this blowhard stuff, though, I enjoyed it. It has fire to it, and jeez, that Maggie sure must be inspiring. Also, has Famine McCoy shown up in any of your other work? Are you going to use him again? Is he based on you? Alright, enough brouhaha for now; I hope this reply helps you with feedback.

Jeff D said...

Thanks for the close reading...Famine appears in the poem "Sagittarian Conflict" and that song is something I wrote last year but felt it worked within the context of this poem as well as being an allusion to my other work. Bye foolio!