Friday, September 26, 2008

Again, Another 6 More Hours

Night is at backwards noon with the moon drawing first wink.
I respond with two winks, then grin twice as I step forward 
onto the cold sidewalk and feelings emerge. Mending the pain 
I stand at the concrete womb. Warmth gathers at the soles 
of my boots and I grin again. I then share the sound of the moon 
with the quiet clouds and the growling stomach of the night cricket. 

I am surrounded by yellow tile and forced into fogged glass, killing 
time by planning to scratch off face fur. Intimacy builds at the end 
of the sharp iron and a new grin is revealed. Anxiety races through 
my veins and camps north of the brain. I must now plan war with the meds 
and face my fear. White, brown, white, 2, 4, 6, yes 2, 4, 6 I say with 
relief. My unconscious desires to feast on voice sex creeps in and numbers 
add onto my uncontrollable fetish. 

3:33 A.M. now tickling the hairs on my wrist and I hang up the VISA 
fed phone hump. I am becoming aware of the day like a coyote and 
late night meat is reserving a room in my belly. Before I map out the 
nightly 2 blocks west I must defeat my efforts to shake and greet 
the goodbye door. My feet strike like a match as I glide strategically 
down the street, finally reaching the glowing stove dressed up in 
number 59. Selecting the booth facing the swinging hot door, I can 
eye the small smiles of Nelly. She understands that my mind is on 
crouches and knows the science to my departed meal. 

In 2 hours a morning glow will rise from the south and my chances 
on sinking into a black dream is thin. I am battling sheep and my radio 
is suffering from a cold. Panic begins to build behind my eyes. My 
reading lamp, my books, my blue chair that was passed down by mother 
and even my favorite Waits album is mocking me. I want to vomit. 
I feel like as if I am trapped on a rollercoaster on reverse. My skin is 
screaming and so I am now tapping into the last of my meds as I 
settle myself into a corner away from the hell. 

Time has grown into 6 A.M. and another night has left with the stars 
and the leaping cow. I find myself back outside with the now belly 
stuffed cricket ready to be brunch to the early song bird. I draw first
wink at the morning moon and grin twice once again as I step 
forward onto the cold sidewalk and a feeling emerges….

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