the world's longest and shortest ovation

From a magazine:



some opera guy got up at the end
of his performance
and began
to beat a small child in the front
row with
the heel end of his
expensive loafer

and suddenly and I rope-swinged upon
the stage to arrive
fashionable
and
bested the voluminous fiend
with my suspenders for
whips.

scuff! caw!
I berated the fat libretto and
undid an entire evening of his
mystical enchantment;
a bucket of yellow paint
was tossed at my head,
but I being quick and desperate,
instead allowed said bucket to ricochet
off the wall and trounce
the very child I had sworn to protect.

the crowd decided to devour me, and with
little warning, began to stampede
towards the stage with
all evil intent. just
then,

the singing man decided he might
instead be an ally, and with
all force, he plucked me up
and sang his way through the
crowd of maniacs.

we were free. outside of the
auditorium I clapped and
clapped for my beaten
savior
some eighty minutes.